Escape to Paradise: Lavender Lodge Awaits in Kota Kinabalu!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because you're about to get the REAL, unfiltered lowdown on Escape to Paradise: Lavender Lodge Awaits in Kota Kinabalu! This isn't some polished, perfectly-worded brochure. This is me, talking to you, after spending a week (or, you know, imagining spending a week, because, you know, life). Let's dive into this… lavender-y… adventure, shall we?
First Impressions (and the Rambling Begins):
Alright, so "Escape to Paradise," eh? Okay, I'm game. Kota Kinabalu is calling my name, and the image of Lavender Lodge… well, it conjures up visions of, like, Insta-worthy sunsets and sipping something fancy with a little umbrella in it. Now, I’m a sucker for a good hotel. Give me a fluffy robe and a decent espresso, and I'm basically sold. But I'm also REAL, which means I'm looking for honesty. So, let's start with the stuff that should be easy to get right:
Accessibility:
Okay, here's where I can be a bit critical. The listing says "Facilities for disabled guests." Great! But does that actually mean wheelchair-accessible rooms and ramps? Or just, like, "we have a ramp, somewhere"? Gotta dig a little deeper there, folks. This is a must for me. I want transparent info on everything, ramps, grab bars, and all. And, for the sake of the review, let’s say that the hotel has all the right accommodations.
The Stuff That Makes You Go "Ooh La La" (or Not):
- On-site accessible restaurants/lounges: Again, important. Knowing if I can easily roll up to a restaurant and enjoy a meal is HUGE.
- Wheelchair accessible: See above. This is more than just a plus. It’s a necessity.
- Internet – Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Wi-Fi in public areas, Wi-Fi for special events: Let's be real. Wi-Fi is a DEAL BREAKER. Free Wi-Fi in the room is a must - especially if I'm going to be working during my stay which is very likely and I want the hotel to be as accessible. And the Wi-Fi has to be, you know, actually working.
- "Things to Do, Ways to Relax" – The Good Stuff: This is where the magic happens!
- Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: Alright, alright, alright. This is where the fantasy kicks in. A pool with a view? A sauna to sweat out all my worries? A massage to knead away the stress of… well, life? Sign me up! But here's the deal: I want a good massage. I'm a cheapskate, but I'd probably pay for the best massage ever.
- The Pool with View: I'm picturing myself, a cocktail in hand, staring out at the ocean. Perfection.
- The Spa: If they have a steam room, consider me SOLD. Because, let's be serious: a good steam room is a religious experience.
Cleanliness, Safety, and the COVID-19 Era:
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: Okay, this list is LONG. But it's also reassuring. Especially in these times. I want to feel safe. I want to know the staff is taking things seriously. This isn't just about, "Are they cleaning?" It's about, "Are they going above and beyond?" And if ALL of these measures are in place, I'm breathing a sigh of relief. More importantly, I want to feel safe. I'm a worrier, and if I feel unsafe, I will be a puddle on the floor.
- Room sanitization: I always check for this. I don't want to walk into a room that smells like a frat house keg party.
- Cashless payment service: It's a bonus. I hate bringing cash, and I have more control over my spending.
Food, Glorious Food! (and My Hangry Moments):
- Dining, drinking, and snacking – The essentials! This is where I get really picky. I need options. I need variety. And the food needs to be good.
- Restaurants: "Restaurants" - I need to know how many, where is the food type, and the vibe.
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: My god, a buffet! I have this feeling again - "Will I be able to eat well?".
- A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement: Flexibility is key. I'm not a big "eat what's given" person.
- Room service [24-hour]: Yes, please. Because sometimes you just want to stay in your pajamas and order a burger at 3 AM.
- Coffee shop, Coffee/tea in restaurant: Again, the caffeine fiend in me demands it.
- Poolside bar: Mandatory.
- Desserts in restaurant, Snack bar: I have a serious sweet tooth.
- Bottle of water: A small thing, but a nice touch.
- Happy hour, Bar: Cheers!
Services and Conveniences (The Little Things That Matter):
- Air conditioning in public area, Elevator, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Safe deposit boxes, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Convenience store, Currency exchange: These are the things that make life easier. Air conditioning is non-negotiable in Kota Kinabalu!
- Daily housekeeping, Dry cleaning, Ironing service: I'm a messy human.
- Facilities for disabled guests: Already mentioned, but worth repeating.
- Access, Baby-sitting service, Babysitting service, Couple’s room, Family/child friendly, For the kids, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Great for families! I'm not there yet, but it's always good to know.
- Business facilities, Meetings, Meeting/banquet facilities, Seminar, Xerox/fax in business center: If you need to work while escaping, you're covered.
- Airport transfer, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking: Airport transfer is a GAME CHANGER.
- Concierge: A concierge who actually knows things is invaluable.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Gotta grab those little trinkets!
- Smoking area: Please, just keep it away from my room, okay?
The Nitty Gritty: What's Actually in the Rooms?:
- Available in all rooms: Air conditioning, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens, Additional toilet, Alarm clock, Carpeting, Complimentary tea, Desk, Extra long bed, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella: Well, this is comprehensive! If all of this it is there at all times, then they sure are covering all the bases.
- "Extra long bed": Always a plus for those of us who aren't vertically challenged.
Safety & Security (Because Nobody Wants a Holiday Gone Wrong):
- **Access, CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private],
Lavender Lodge & Lemon-Sucking Adventures: A Kota Kinabalu Itinerary (Probably)
Okay, so… Kota Kinabalu, here we come! Lavender Lodge. Sounds idyllic, right? Butterflies, lavender fields, maybe some actual lavender-scented soap that doesn't smell like grandma's attic? We'll see. This itinerary is less "polished travel brochure" and more "desperate attempt to organize my chaotic brain before I lose my passport again." Wish me luck, I’ll need it.
Day 1: Arrival & Airport Panic (or, Why I Should Never Pack Last Minute)
- Morning (ish - because let's be real, the flight's at 8am, I'll be running late): Arrive at KKIA (Kota Kinabalu International Airport). Expected a smooth landing, but no, delayed flight from KL, naturally. My internal monologue is currently screaming, “DID I PACK MY SUNSCREEN? WHERE'S MY PHONE CHARGER?! WHY DID I THINK WE COULD SQUEEZE IN THAT LAST-MINUTE LAUNDRY?!” I feel like a highly stressed sloth.
- Noon: Taxi to Lavender Lodge. Praying it lives up to the pictures. (They always lie, don't they?) My first impression counts. That's the deciding factor.
- Afternoon: Check-in. Deep breaths. Attempt to unpack. Discover that I've packed three pairs of identical black socks and no proper beachwear. Excellent. Time to channel my inner MacGyver and fashion something from a hotel towel, a safety pin, and sheer desperation.
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening : Stumble out, feeling grimy and travel-weary, in search of food. Target: Jalan Gaya Sunday Market (if today's Sunday). If not, well, time to find something, anything. I am ravenous. And hangry. And probably a tiny bit delusional.
- Dinner: Local cuisine. Probably some kind of noodles. I'm not adventurous. I'm hungry. Whatever is near, I'll eat. Praying it isn't too spicy. Note to selves: learn some basic Malay phrases. "Tidak pedas" (not spicy) will be my mantra. Find a cute cafe with big glasses of iced lemon tea. I'm on vacation and will be drinking as many as it takes.
- Evening: Collapse in bed. Maybe browse Instagram to admire the gorgeous photos of this place and feel a pang of envy. Then promptly delete all travel-related social media accounts and embrace the quiet, peaceful, messy reality of my life.
Day 2: Island Hopping & The Great Seasickness Debacle (Or, How I Briefly Became One With the Ocean)
- Morning: Booked a tour for island hopping - Tunku Abdul Rahman Marine Park. Okay, exciting! Sun, sea, sand, crystal-clear water… my stomach is already churning with anticipation! (And not just the good kind.)
- Mid-morning: Boat trip to Sapi Island. (Sapi, get it? Like, "Sappy" because I will be overwhelmed by the beauty and cry, I am sure!) Snorkeling gear! Praying my mask doesn’t fog up. The thought of staring intently at the deep blue and not being able to see is slightly terrifying.
- Noonish: Lunch on the beach. Grilled fish, hopefully. My inner gluttony is already salivating!
- Afternoon: The Seasickness Incident (Detailed & Unflinchingly Honest) Alright, let's be real. I'm prone to seasickness. And the boat ride back to the mainland was…interesting. The waves were acting up, the sun was beating down, and my stomach thought it was auditioning for a vomit-inducing opera. The first wave of nausea hit, and I clutched my stomach. The second wave came, and I ran to the railing. The third wave? Well, let's just say I contributed a significant amount of "local color" to the ocean. The other tourists were either mortified or trying not to laugh. I was just praying for it to STOP. Eventually, it did. And I, a humbled human, survived. I’m now permanently scarred, but also strangely proud. It might take years but now I have a new appreciation for dry land and a fervent need for ginger ale. Or something.
- Evening: Back at the Lodge. Shower. Lie down. Question all life choices. Order a very, very bland dinner. Consider wearing a seasickness patch every day for the rest of my life.
Day 3: Mount Kinabalu Day Trip (or, The Unlikely Attempt to Conquer the Beast)
- Early Morning: Okay, this is ambitious. REALLY ambitious. The plan: a day trip to Mount Kinabalu. (I say "the plan" like I made it. I didn't. My friend did. I'm just along for the ride, figuratively and literally.) The weather forecast? "Unpredictable." Perfect.
- Morning: Tour van picks us up. Mountains, here we come! Praying the driver doesn't drive like those people from the Fast & Furious movie. (Sorry, I'm being dramatic.) The drive is long, winding, and beautiful. I'm feeling surprisingly exhilarated (and slightly terrified).
- Noon: Arrive at the base of the mountain. The sheer scale of it is… overwhelming. We're not actually climbing the whole thing. (Thank God. I'd probably die.) But we'll do some trails, take some photos, and try not to embarrass ourselves.
- Afternoon: The Hike That Could (But Mostly Couldn’t) The hike was…a hike. The air was thin. My lungs were protesting. My thighs were screaming. There were moments where I seriously considered turning around and heading back to the van. But then I’d look up at the view, which was stunning, breathtaking (literally, with the altitude!), and remember why I’d signed up for this torture. There were also leeches involved (the stuff of nightmares) and I ran through them like it was the freaking Tour De France. But you know what? I made it. I was sweaty, uncomfortable, and probably smelled like a swamp, but I made it. And that, my friends, is what counts.
- Late Afternoon: Drive back to Lavender Lodge. I've never been so happy to see a bed in my life.
- Evening: Dinner at a slightly fancy restaurant (because we earned it). Wine. Staring at the wall. Early bedtime. Dreaming of flat surfaces and not having to use all my muscle to breath.
Day 4: Relaxation & Retail Therapy (and Possibly More Lemon Tea Abuse)
- Morning: SLEEP. Glorious, uninterrupted sleep.
- Mid-Morning: Breakfast at a local café. (I’m starting to sound like a local, aren’t I?). More iced lemon tea. Maybe try something new. Not likely.
- Afternoon: Shopping spree at a local craft market. Souvenirs! Presents! Trinkets! Try to haggle, fail miserably, but buy things anyway because, hey, this is supposed to be fun! My bank account is going to hate me.
- Late Afternoon: Back at the lodge. Relaxing by the pool… wait, does Lavender Lodge have a pool? Hmm, I should probably check. Either way, this is officially my "do nothing" afternoon. The perfect definition of bliss.
- Evening: Farewell dinner. (Because, sadly, all good things must come to an end.) Reflect on the trip. What went well? What went hilariously wrong? What did I forget to pack? Vow to return someday.
- Night: Packing up. Praying the laundry situation is manageable this time.
Day 5: Departure & Final Thoughts
- Morning: Last-minute frantic packing. (Yes, I'm doing it again.) Last-minute panic about the passport. Final breakfast. One more iced lemon tea for the road.
- Mid-Morning: Taxi to the airport. Say goodbye to Lavender Lodge.
- Afternoon: Flight back home. Reflect on the trip.
- Final thoughts: Kota Kinabalu: absolutely incredible, even with the seasickness, the hiking, and the chaotic packing. I'd go back again…maybe next year, after I've recovered.
And, if you made it this far…well, congratulations! You've survived my messy, opinionated, and hopefully entertaining itinerary. Now go have your own adventure! And don't forget the sunscreen. And maybe the seasickness medication. And definitely the iced lemon tea.
Unbelievable Manhasset Getaway: Travelodge Wyndham Deals You WON'T Believe!
So, like, what *is* this whole FAQ thing supposed to be *about*? You know, besides giving my brain a workout.
Alright, alright, settle down, internal monologue. This is supposed to be about... well, *stuff*. General questions. Maybe some things that genuinely bug people. My take on things. You know, the usual. But hopefully, instead of dry, clinical answers, it'll be… messy. Like my desk. And my brain. Which is essentially the same thing, come to think of it.
Okay, okay, but like, practically *what* are we talking about here? Give me a topic!
Ugh, fine. Let's talk about... *stuff*. Everything. Nothing. The meaning of life. My crippling addiction to… well, never mind. Let's start with…
Do you *really* think you can answer all these questions? Seems ambitious, even for you.
Look, answering all questions is the goal here… Well, no. Actually, I’ll probably get distracted by a squirrel, or a stray thought about that time I ate too much cheese and watched the entire extended edition of Lord of the Rings. More likely, there will be many, many tangents. But hey, at least it'll be *honest*. Maybe. Probably not completely. See? Already a tangent. *Sigh*. Let's just go with 'mostly' and see what happens.
Okay, fine. Let's get specific. What's the deal with... *[insert arbitrary question here]*?
Alright, let's say… "Why is it so hard to declutter?" Oh, god, don't get me started. It's not *just* about the stuff, right? It's about the memories, the "what-ifs," the overwhelming dread of making a "mistake" and throwing away something you *might* need later. I swear, my apartment is a museum of potential future projects and emotional baggage.
I remember this one time... Years ago, I attempted a "KonMari" method decluttering session. I had the clothes from high school, which I hadn't fit in for decades. I stared at a faded band t-shirt from a concert I barely remembered going to. And then I started crying. Like, ugly crying. It was a disaster. That t-shirt was a portal to my teenage angst, my unfulfilled dreams of being a rock star, and all the awkward dances I'd performed at school dances. The shirt made me feel *things*. That shirt was now the boss of me, and I couldn’t get rid of it. I gave up on my stuff and on the joy of being able to wear clothes I actually like.
The only thing I did was sit on the floor eating M&Ms and watching Netflix. I think. Or maybe I was at work that day. Who knows. All I know is, decluttering is hard! The key, I think, is to *start small*. Like, maybe one drawer. Okay, maybe just *one item* from one drawer. Still working on that.
You seem to like procrastinating, is that true?
Procrastinating? Me? Never. *cough, cough*. Okay, yeah. Guilty as charged. But it's not just about laziness, you know! There's an art to it. A deep, abiding love of doing *anything* other than the thing I'm supposed to be doing. Right now I was supposed to start that job application I've been putting off for like, a week.
I once spent an entire afternoon reorganizing my spice rack when I had a massive deadline looming. And it was the *most satisfying* damn thing I’d ever done. Each jar was perfectly aligned, alphabetical, and gleaming. My anxiety levels were reduced, and my spice cabinet has never looked better. Did that deadline get completed? Absolutely not. But hey, at least my thyme is ready. And let's be honest, it felt like I'd conquered a whole empire that afternoon.
I think the key is to find a procrastination activity that's at least *slightly* productive. So maybe, instead of scrolling mindlessly through social media, I should be... oh, right, that job application. Maybe I'll do it after I've organized this drawer. Or the other one. Or perhaps I'll just have a cup of tea first. Let's do it. That's a much better plan than actually beginning.
Okay, what about your biggest pet peeves? What sets you off?
Oh, where do I begin? Slow walkers on sidewalks, people who chew with their mouths open, and anyone who says "literally" when they mean "figuratively". But, my *biggest* pet peeve? When people interrupt you in the middle of a sentence. Like, seriously? I’m in mid-flow, you can't just *butt in* like that. It's not only rude, but it completely throws off my train of thought. I'll forget what I was going to say, and you’ll never get the full story.
I once had a work friend who did this *all the time*. I’d be explaining a complex project, and, before I could finish a single sentence, *bam*, in comes her two cents. Her opinion, even if she had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. It drove me absolutely bananas. To this day, even if I hear her name, I get a little twitch in my eye. Not only was it infuriating in the moment, it made me wonder if she realized she was being incredibly rude.
I now try (keyword: try) to be mindful of this tendency when I'm talking to others. But, yeah, it’s a big one. And now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I've done it too.
Do you have any weird or embarrassing habits? Spill the tea!
Oh, lord. Where do I start? I'm a treasure trove of weirdness. I sing in the shower – a lot, and often loud, and I don't really care what it sounds like. Sometimes, I'll have entire conversations with my cats (don't judge, they understand me). And, I'm terrible at remembering names. I'll meet someone, and five minutes later, their name is already lost to the vast, swirling abyss of my memory.
I have this one embarrassing habit that I find absolutely mortifying. I bite my nails. I have tried everything to stop – the bitter nail polish, acrylics, even therapy. But when I’m stressed, I just… gnaw. I become completely unaware of what I’m doing until I’m looking down at a bloody, mangled mess. And then, the shame sets in.
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